Pregnancy after loss I've felt is very bittersweet, its scary, its emotional. So far in this  pregnancy I've been pretty overwhelmed with emotion and I have found it hard to shake that something bad may happen. After our first loss back in May we found ourselves pregnant again in September. The overwhelming joy we felt that we were being given another chance for another baby a sibling for Ollie. I then felt such a strong unshakeable wash of anxiety and fear what if things weren't meant to be for a second time. I've cried many times to Ben about what if it happens again? I've already had an emergency scan as well as my 12 week scan because of a bleed at 11 weeks, We were so scared and I'd felt such a wash of fear thinking that this pregnancy was going to end in another miscarriage. There have been times in the last 12 weeks where I've had awful guilt over being pregnant again, not wanting to feel that I'd just forgotten about our angel and moved on. I will always remember our baby we never got to meet he or she will always be in our hearts. 

I hope that this little short post has made some sense to you. Thank you so much for ready and I'll catch you all on my next post! 

X